I have finished two of Malcolm Gladwell’s books, The Tipping Point and Blink and couldn’t put them down, they were just so fascinating. I am now reading his latest, Outliers, and it is equally riveting. So far he has made referenced two studies about factors in raising kids who become successful.
In one study sociologist Annette Lareau conducted a study of a group of third graders from both wealthy and poor families. What she found was there were only two parenting “philosophies” and they were divided almost perfectly along class lines. The wealthier parents raised their kids one way and the poorer families raised their kids another way. Lareau calls the middle class style “concerted cultivations” as it actively fosters and asses a child’s talents, opinions and skills.” Poorer parents tend to follow a strategy of “accomplishment of natural growth.” These parents see as their responsibility to care for their children but to let them grow and develop on their own.
Lareau stresses that one style isn’t morally better than the other but she states that concerted cultivation has enormous advantages. These children learn a sense of “entitlement.” Not the greedy, selfish entitlement but more of a self-worth, that they have the right to pursue their individual preferences. By contract, she says, poorer kids were characterized by “an emerging sense of distance, distrust and constraint.” What I read was these children don’t have the confidence in themselves.
What I get from all this is that dad’s role, whether wealthy or not, can positively their children’s self worth simply by being involved in their kids’ lives.
It’s so simple.
